Want a Personal Fairy?

Some of my posts have been really deep lately, so I thought I would lighten it up a little bit! The following is a post that MODG posted on her blog: http://www.modgblog.com/ Thanks, MODG, for officially declaring that myself and all of my doula sisters are now officially FAIRIES!

The hippies know something that the rest of us don’t. Well since I am falling somewhere in between hippie and gossip girl, I’m going to ruin the hippie code and tell you what they have going on. I hope they don’t kick me out of the club. I was pretty close when I wore the 4 inch heels to see the midwife last week. She was having NONE of that.

Ok, hippie secret. So they figured out a way to do something that I have been trying to find a way to do my whole life. And not only are they doing it, they got their husbands on board to pay for it.

THEY HIRE PERSONAL ASSISTANTS DURING PREGNANCY AND BIRTH!!!! NOT KIDDING.

So here’s how they did it. They were like, you know what? My husband is a lame tard and I don’t trust him at all to do the stuff I need when I give birth and I may squeeze his head off with the forceps. I am going to hire a personal assistant who does whatever I say and who is a baby birth expert and I’m going to call it something hippie sounding like “Doula” so they get confused and just go along with it.

SO SMART HIPPIES!

You hire a doula when you get preg and they are there for you throughout the whole pregnancy with secret tips and tricks to make you feel better and will give you massages and will bring you secret herbs from their magic gardens and are basically birth geniuses. And they work for YOU, not the hospital, not your husband. So they do what you say.

So you best believe I jumped on that shit immediately. B was pretty much on board because he faints if the tampon doesn’t flush in the toilet. So he can play brickbreaker on his blackberry while me and the doula work it all out.

MODG, eat this flower and your baby will float delicately out of your vagina. OK fairy whatever you say.

Here was my criteria in hiring a doula:

1) She has to be pretty but not prettier than me.

2) She has to have a lot of secret magic. Like stuff that I don’t know about involving aromatherapy, herbs, spells and ESPECIALLY know how to make my vagina stay in one piece when I deliver this 23lb baby.

3) She has to think I’m funny.

4) She has to have really long hippie hair.

And would you believe that I found her? I did. I did. I DID. And not only does she meet all of my criteria, I THINK that she may be a fairy (!!!!) I know. She is tinier than me with super white skin and looong black hair and wore a little blue fairy dress. In our interview I was like, Fairy…do you have secret tricks and can you please detail them for me? She’s like, yes I do but I can’t tell you now. SUPER SECRET TRICKS!!! Obviously she was hired.

So my fairy has already been at my beck and call via email. I’m betting she regrets this arrangement already. And when Plankton wants to show his hairy face, she’ll come to my house and then follow me to the birth center and make sure everyone does what I want when I want, like a good personal fairy assistant. She also comes for a few visits to our house to do secret stuff.

Also she is a birth photographer as a bonus. I’m going to have a strict no pink parts policy. But I do enjoy a photo shoot. And I KNOW you’ll on be on me for pictures like the second Plankton pops out with his laptop in hand.

So, my recommendation ladies is if you EVER have the chance to hire a personal assistant/fairy, DO IT. Pregnant or not. Husbands are easy to convince of this stuff.

If you have detailed doula questions, I recommend asking my virtual doula Zdub. She would be my actual doula if she didn’t live in Colorado. But she scores 300 hippie points for living there.

A New Hope

First of all, I want to say "thank you" to Sarah and Sally for the positive feedback and getting me motivated to post again :) I have so many birthing thoughts swirling around in my head that I want to share, so I will start with the most positive...

I have started studying for my midwife's assistant/monitrice certification through Birth Arts International, and my first assignment is studying the history of midwives and birth assistants. I LOVE IT!! First of all, I have a great excuse to get more books and read for hours on end, but mostly I love learning how our present birthing society was created. The hopeful part is that we haven't been entrenched in this highly medical model of care for very long and now there are some really strong signs that our birthing culture is waking up and noticing that there may be a better way for women to give birth and for babies to come into this world.

Let's all applaud ACOG for declaring that VBACs should be an option for women and celebrate the fall in circumcision rates to 33%!! Hopefully, this is just the beginning. I am imagining an ideal birthing culture in the next 100 years where women have a choice in where and who attends her birth and midwives and doctors will all be working together to provide optimum care for pregnant mamas.

In order for this to happen (& preferably sooner), we all need to educate ourselves on the facts of our birthing culture and how it can be improved and, most importantly, TALK ABOUT IT & SPREAD THE WORD!! There is no need for our sisters and babies to struggle through a time that should be so beautiful!

Here are the books that I am reading:
Witches, Midwives & Nurses by Barbara Ehrenreich & Deirdre English

Lying-In: A History of Childbirth in America by Richard W. Wertz & Dorothy C. Wertz

Brought to Bed: Childbearing in America, 1750-1950 by Judith Walzer Leavitt

Birth as an American Rite of Passage by Robbie E. Davis-Floyd

Beautiful Birth Video

Changing the World - Music PPT

See more presentations by santunes | Upload your own PowerPoint presentations

Loving-kindness

I am consistently amazed at how this beautiful Universe works. I love the little (and big) messages that are given to show me "the way." Yesterday, I had a great friend tell me that my last blog post inspired her to "speak up" and call 3-1-1 to report two dogs left in a hot car with the windows rolled up. This makes me think about all of the wonderful changes that are going to be made when we all support and act with loving-kindness.

I have also been trying to sort through my feelings about activism and how to do it without aggression and anger fueling my agenda, because anger and aggression just don't "feel right." So, here is the message I received today from Pema Chodron's book, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times...

When we hold on to our opinions with aggression,

no matter how valid our cause, we are simply adding

more aggression to the planet, and violence and pain increase.

Cultivating nonaggression is cultivating peace.

How perfect is that! I have a sense of peace this morning that I will and am making a difference in the birthing world. I will ask for the patience to help me maintain my nonaggression and subdue the feeling of immediacy that begets agendas and anger while overshadowing the essential aspects of clarity of mind, and openness.

I am excited to continue my journey and witness the beauty and empowerment of women experiencing the wonder of conception, pregnancy, birth and mothering.

Much love, peace and gratitude to all of you that share the path of loving-kindness!

Speak Up!

I read a quote today: "Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes." So, here I am...speaking, and if you could hear me or see me...I am shaking. I am shaking because changes to our maternity system need to happen NOW! I was also inspired by something else I read the other day...set your goal to be like someone you admire. Today is the day that I am going to start speaking up, speaking from my heart so that I can start to make changes like all of those women that I admire so much. After I rattled off my passions and goals to my dad today, he asked me, "So, you are going to be a shaker?" Yes, Dad, I am going to be a mover & shaker. I am going to continue researching and start talking and writing louder, because my whispers aren't helping moms and babies and families. I am committed to help other women find their voices, so that they can speak what their hearts are telling them and assist them in breaking through the cultural ideology surrounding birth in the US. I will make mistakes along the way, and I invite you to point them out to me, so that I can learn from them. This is the only way to invoke a transformation that will save and improve lives. Today, I vow to speak my mind, even if my voice shakes. Do you?

Birth and Death

I was honored to attend the birth of a beautiful baby boy just recently. Because he died at 40 weeks gestation, I am still processing through this birth. I am going through all of the emotions and nurturing them as they arrive. Hopefully, I can express my thoughts soon, so that my words will be helpful to anyone who may be confronted with the death of a baby. Until then, much peace and gratitude to all transformed by this sweet baby and to all of those who have assisted me through this process.